We are about one week into the huge tsunami of change coming to us all. Coronavirus. Already profound changes have been made... in thought, word and deed.
Today after lunch I drew these grapes, partly as a means of calming myself down. At least we have grapes. In a week or so, such things may be totally unobtainable, as pasta, rice, tinned tomatoes, fresh ginger, flour, pasta, etc are at the moment.
We are being locked in. As we are over 70 we are in a high risk group, so we must voluntarily submit to house-arrest. It is for our own good. We understand why.
But how fast, how incredibly shockingly fast the authorities have achieved this. Empty shelves in the shops. Truly incredible statements from the office of the prime minister ('We have consulted with the supermarkets and they can handle everything; there will be no shortage of foods or other supplies....' Supermarkets: 'We have not had any contact with the government..... That statement is news to us.....')
We are to keep our distance, or be locked in. The example of Spain is frightening: no-one outside, even in a car, apart from food shopping, allotment, dog-walking. No-one in pairs - solo only....
We have been going through the very painful and almost totally incredible process of changing everything we think about ourselves. Firstly: 'I am OK! I may be 71 but I am well, healthy, no underlying medical conditions. Please don't place me in any kind of 'elderly' category... 70 today is not the same as 70 even twenty years ago.....'
Then: 'Oh! That illness sounds awful, and I don't want to be a victim. I will take sensible measures, wash my hands when I've been outside, stay 2m away from other people....'
And now 'Oh! I myself am the source of all danger. I might - quite unknowingly - infect other people. A little sneeze or a touch or bank note from me to another person may kill them.....' So, I have to see myself as a plague-carrier. Even if I am in fact clean.
That process is distressing, even if logical. And - that deep fear, that we all face the prospect of drowning inside one's own lungs, with no hospital help (too old). Or Andrew might, or siblings, or other friends or family. The lines of coffins in Italy are sobering.
This morning, the sun came up into a clear sky. Joyous! How many more sunrises will I see?
Each day is to be savoured. The sunshine blessed. I ought to check that my Will is up to date, and a note about my bank accounts is somewhere for any heirs to find. I should throw out things which are not needed... if anyone will take them. Shops are shut everywhere.
Yesterday I gave away about 30 potted-up plants... overwintered, repotted... for children to plant. Donations to the Creek Trust for these modest things totalled £7.41. Today we gave away a boxful of old jams and chutneys, discovered in a cupboard - old but still ok, like we ourselves. Andrew has been to the allotment and is now home. While he was out, I drew those grapes. Last night, some friends had an online quiz.,. jolly, slightly berserk, drunk. This morning, my weekly group had an online conference meeting. Very supportive - a relief to see everyone's faces. People are really really scared.
Today after lunch I drew these grapes, partly as a means of calming myself down. At least we have grapes. In a week or so, such things may be totally unobtainable, as pasta, rice, tinned tomatoes, fresh ginger, flour, pasta, etc are at the moment.
We are being locked in. As we are over 70 we are in a high risk group, so we must voluntarily submit to house-arrest. It is for our own good. We understand why.
But how fast, how incredibly shockingly fast the authorities have achieved this. Empty shelves in the shops. Truly incredible statements from the office of the prime minister ('We have consulted with the supermarkets and they can handle everything; there will be no shortage of foods or other supplies....' Supermarkets: 'We have not had any contact with the government..... That statement is news to us.....')
We are to keep our distance, or be locked in. The example of Spain is frightening: no-one outside, even in a car, apart from food shopping, allotment, dog-walking. No-one in pairs - solo only....
We have been going through the very painful and almost totally incredible process of changing everything we think about ourselves. Firstly: 'I am OK! I may be 71 but I am well, healthy, no underlying medical conditions. Please don't place me in any kind of 'elderly' category... 70 today is not the same as 70 even twenty years ago.....'
Then: 'Oh! That illness sounds awful, and I don't want to be a victim. I will take sensible measures, wash my hands when I've been outside, stay 2m away from other people....'
And now 'Oh! I myself am the source of all danger. I might - quite unknowingly - infect other people. A little sneeze or a touch or bank note from me to another person may kill them.....' So, I have to see myself as a plague-carrier. Even if I am in fact clean.
That process is distressing, even if logical. And - that deep fear, that we all face the prospect of drowning inside one's own lungs, with no hospital help (too old). Or Andrew might, or siblings, or other friends or family. The lines of coffins in Italy are sobering.
This morning, the sun came up into a clear sky. Joyous! How many more sunrises will I see?
Each day is to be savoured. The sunshine blessed. I ought to check that my Will is up to date, and a note about my bank accounts is somewhere for any heirs to find. I should throw out things which are not needed... if anyone will take them. Shops are shut everywhere.
Yesterday I gave away about 30 potted-up plants... overwintered, repotted... for children to plant. Donations to the Creek Trust for these modest things totalled £7.41. Today we gave away a boxful of old jams and chutneys, discovered in a cupboard - old but still ok, like we ourselves. Andrew has been to the allotment and is now home. While he was out, I drew those grapes. Last night, some friends had an online quiz.,. jolly, slightly berserk, drunk. This morning, my weekly group had an online conference meeting. Very supportive - a relief to see everyone's faces. People are really really scared.
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